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February 08 2018

If I don’t get a job teaching in Korea, what will I do? But also, what will I do if I do get a job???

I think the first step is to maybe take some days off work to make a psychiatrist appointment because my answer to any amount of anxiety these days is “You should kill yourself.” And like obviously that’s not healthy but it’s still a thought I have almost everyday because I feel like a completely useless piece of shit so I should probably fix that.

But also like. I have no time to do anything else besides work, make lesson plans (read: have mental breakdowns) and study Korean. I haven’t cooked in months. All I eat at home is white cheddar popcorn, Diet Coke and hummus with veggies. Is that what my life will be like if I’m a teacher? Is this what my life will be like forever regardless??

What if I don’t go to Korea? What if I’m just not cut out to be a teacher????

What if I stayed in the US, and just kept working at Starbucks for the rest of my life and hired a Korean tutor? Or just keep doing language exchange forever?

That wouldn’t be the worst thing right???

god how do people have confidence in themselves when they’ve only been doing something for a month? And don’t tell me “fake it til you make it. “ That phrase was probably made up by some sociopathic asshole who was just really good at conning people. I can’t “fake” anything. Thats another skill that I do not have. I got through college having never learnt how to bullshit a paper. I don’t know how to do that. I can’t fake passion or confidence or intelligence. I’m an idiot trying to teach people the most illogical language on earth. And people are telling me I’ll just figure it out and I’ll be fine???

How the fuck am I supposed to do that???????

god I just feel like I’m spiraling toward the ground and nothing can save me. I have to apply for jobs in Korea next month and I’d honestly rather go back to college (and accrue an astronomical amount of additional student debt) than even try to apply because i won’t be able to handle the rejection.

and yes I am expecting to be rejected bc I don’t feel confident teaching anyone anything. I just don’t. I have no confidence in my intelligence whatsoever. so planning to fail is the default so if I somehow succeed it’ll be this amazing feeling of accomplishment and surprise.

the only problem now is that all of my coworkers will still be at my store or moving on and graduating but I’ll still be there. I’ll just be Jessica, the pathetic barista who tried and failed to make something of herself.

god now I just feel like even more shit. I should just take the safe route and give up now while I still can, before I’ve really tried anything, before I have the potential for real failure.

February 07 2018

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justcyborgthings:

cookie-sheet-toboggan:

miss-vickt0re:

carbcruncher000:

thegirlfriend-experience:

citycrowdpleaser:

say it with me now..

2018 Goals

Since last week I’ve been getting extra money at work for free

Yo Canada, quick question. Why is your money see through?!?

so we can shine a laser pointer through the window and see the value amount projected afar as added protection from forgeries

Yo USA, why the FUCK are we still using fragile scraps of linen like fucking animals when we could have fucking Laser Show Dollars instead?

February 06 2018

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camilladerricoart:

My head is a-buzz with Valentines Day feels! So I made some new cutie bee drawings for my Valentines Collector’s Party this Saturday at my studio.🐝 I’ve got all the warm fuzzies to share with my new art and goodies, with treats and refreshments! I’m so excited! 😊 There are a few spots left for my 11am party. So if you’re a collector in the #Vancouver area and want to join in the fun and pick up some goodies, just email my gal Tasha at info@camilladerrico.com for details! 😃 And if you want to sign up for my next event feel free I email and we’ll put you on the list! I love doing these kind of events and hope to have lots of you over to see my art sanctuary! 💖Now I’m going to buzz on back to my painting, I hear the one on my easel a'callin my name!

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npr:

“The federal government must take bold action to address inequitable funding in our nation’s public schools.”

So begins a list of recommendations released Thursday by the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, an independent, bipartisan agency created by Congress in 1957 to investigate civil rights complaints. Thursday’s report comes after a lengthy investigation into how America’s schools are funded and why so many that serve poor and minority students aren’t getting the resources they say they need.

The 150-page report, titled “Public Education Funding Inequity: In An Era Of Increasing Concentration Of Poverty and Resegregation,” reads like a footnoted walking tour through the many ways America’s education system fails vulnerable students — beginning with neighborhood schools that remain deeply segregated and continuing into classrooms where too many students lack access to skilled teachers, rigorous courses and equitable school funding.

America’s Schools Are ‘Profoundly Unequal,’ Says U.S. Civil Rights Commission

Illustration: LA Johnson/NPR

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madamehearthwitch:

iamemeraldfox:

coolthingoftheday:

Farmers in Indonesia introduce fish into their rice fields. The fish excrement acts as a fertilizer for the plants, while the plants attract insects and other pests, which serve as food for the fish. This process increases rice yield by up to 10%. 

@solarpunk-aesthetic

It’s almost… bear with me here… it’s almost like nature knows what it’s doing.

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fgsshinyhoard:

amishfighterpilot:

if you’re at hooters by definition your date isn’t going well

okay but real talk

this is an EXCELLENT thing, this is a wonderful thing to make sure that, if you are having a shitty date, or you are worried about someone skeezy, you can give an agreed-signal to a bartender or staff member, and they will help you out

THIS is how you run a business to keep your customers safe, respect to Hooters.

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keiralesbian:

all these women were gay

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fypristin:

envision you | editing is allowed, but dm the fansite first

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aurjeon:

(ノಥ,_」ಥ)ノ┻━┻ 

jemthecrystalgem:

sic-semper-amicis:

9th November 1989 - 5th February 2018 (10,316 days) - The Berlin Wall has now been down for as long as it stood.

Holy shit

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hoyjboe:

making curry rice

i forgot to add carrot part tho…

I hate feeling like this. If I’m going to feel like this everyday, I should quit. I need a curriculum, a textbook, and a co-teacher who can actually help me because this TESOL course isn’t doing that. I feel completely worthless as a human being because I can’t make a goddamn lesson plan. I never want to feel like this and yet I keep trying to make lesson plans so I keep feeling this way. There’s an easy solution to this problem: quit.

February 05 2018

tonelessmandarin

replied to your

post

:

once again i am at a loss for making a lesson…

What level? I have a bunch of adult ESL activities for low-intermediate classes

A1-A2 level adults. I go back and forth every single week, but right now I would never feel comfortable applying for a teaching job. Every single day trying to make a lesson plan is a struggle, and I hate every minute of it. But then teaching it is fun and I leave the class feeling accomplished. I’m so torn. Right now I want nothing more than to just give up completely.

once again i am at a loss for making a lesson plan. i wish i just had afucking textbook. i am not a teacher. i can’t teach vocabulary or grammar. what a goddamn joke

V -게

stu-kj:

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

This suffix is attached directly to the verb roots, regardless of their 받침. It is used when the subjects of the clauses are not the same and it can have two different functions:

1. ADVERB - how/in which way an action occurs

ex: 나는 머리를 짧게 잘랐어요 = I cut my hair (lit. “I cut my hair short)

ex: 어제 늦게 자서 조금 피곤해요 = Yesterday I slept late so I’m a bit tired

ex: 얼굴이 빨갛게 됐어요 = My face got red

2. AIM/OBJECTIVE - It expresses the aim of the action of the main clause

ex: 사진을 찍게 모두 모이세요 = Gather together to take the photo

ex: 감기가 빨리 낮게 약을 드세요 = Take the medicine to recover fast from your cold


!! =/= (으)러 !!

(으)러 can be used EXCLUSIVELY with the verbs 가다 and 오다, and the subject of the clauses must be the same


!! =/= 아서/어서 !!

아서/어서 express the CAUSE and not the aim of the main clause’s verb
🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

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allforbts:

180205 BT21′s Tweet

#BT21_1M 고마워요❤️Thank you

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